A 100 days to a new me: Day 100, am I the same?

 

Yes it is a 100 days and I have deliberately avoided posting the last 8 days, I just did not feel like. I just could not bring myself to chronicle the magic, lest I lose the energy.All I can say is Yes, am rebranded.

The change was immense and so to say, nothing. Physically I am a drop lighter but definitely prettier, if I may say so. I have an enhanced degree of confidence, for the first time summer suits me as much as winter does…mentally I am rushing through a million ideas, have evolved in terms of knowing what I do best, have two edited books behind me, have got accolades for my articles and extension. My elder girl is doing well in the subject I teach, creative writing and my brat is 2% less a brat.

I have re-assessed my relationships with family and friends and have built some extremely special links, I have gained friends, made mistakes and learnt…A lot has happened on the ‘love’ front, MM the magic man of this blog happened…he is magic in that sense, He read my last post and was worried, so he messaged me and said that he was around for me, and all I had to was to text him.The message was sweeter than I make it out to be, I really can’t categorize him and I don’t want to. He is special as he is. Honestly right now my life is teeming with potential romance(s) but I am at my skeptical best. The 100 days have gone a long way in weeding out the weeds…;), apologise for the not too creative an expression, in teaching me to keep the good close(r) to the heart and about letting go. It has had many a defining moment.

This chronicle, strangely, has been the biggest vehicle of change.It has brought so many friends closer, it has made me come to terms with who I am in an even less apologetic way than before, in-fact a non apologetic sense. It has given me the strength to be me and as my friend SK says, it has given me a chance to look so much more closely at life.

People have a few defining moments in a lifetime, I have had more than a few these 100 days, I have monitored my moods, my idiosyncrasies, I have openly looked for love and openly failed, I now know what brand of quirk I am okay with and what not,I have celebrated, lamented, vented and done everything honestly, without apology…and it has got me unexpected returns, unimaginable support.

It has made me believe in my writing like never before…

The biggest change somehow seems to be spiritual, it seems that purgation has happened, catharsis has happened, I feel that I am heading towards innocence again.I have learnt the lesson of letting go, of looking at only the positive in people. I have found the love of God again, and of those he loves.I do not know if the rebranding shows, I feel it. I feel new, like a new born, as if I am walking on air. I feel loved, I feel clean, all I need to know is how to seal this bit of rebranding. The building blocks are done, I am a clean slate yet again and am going to be very careful of every new word I write here.

I do not know if the 100 days have got me from A to B, all I know is it has got me from A to a place where when I write B, there shall be no traces of A…the perfect place to start yet another 100 days of a newer me.

 

 

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