A 100 days to a new me : Day 56, I feel like jello

Seems life is coming back slowly yet steadily.Today something wonderful happened, seemed even after all that gluttonous eating , I seemed to have lost some weight. maybe it was from the exercise constant coughing gave me, day and night.I agree it is a drop out of an ocean, but the last I heard; the ocean was made up of drops. the drop motivates me to start exercising again; unfortunately I am still feeling very weak.

Work is kind of okay, just one article to send and the last few Chapters of my friend’s book. My  friend wants me to write the synopsis of his book for him; I disagree with that; it is like doing someone’s laundry and I am not interested…editing does not require attaching yourself, I am detached. A synopsis would require getting involved in the story and honestly; I am getting a little miserly when it comes to wasting creative energy. One very unfair thing about being a writer or painter or singer is when people come and say to you, sing a song or write a page after all there is no investment there; what they don’t understand is, that the only thing that the likes of us have is time and energy. If I am inclined to write, I would rather write a few stories for my ever incomplete book…before these 100 days end, I need to finish at least the stories. For that I need to resume my walks as I think best while walking, it is chatter free time, imposed silence…

Semi-professionalism is a very dangerous thing…either it’s black or it’s white. Either it’s a paid job or it’s pure friendship…the in betweens are always messy. I hate business plans which have shades of grey, once bitten twice shy I don’t know why half plans always come to me, be it life, work or relationships maybe there is something about me that needs rebranding…well it too shall happen.

But then everything about me is like Jello…wobbly. My career, my love life, my mood, my finances; hence wobbly attracts wobbly, well the good thing is on good days, my life is even colourful like Jello.

Part of the day went in teaching my girls, the other half I don’t know where…I need to get hold of life yet again. Time is slipping as am I…

I am back to being overwhelmed, next week I start working on my list again..:)

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