A 100 days to a new me : Day 39, a peep out of my mole-dig


Is it just me or everybody? I hate this weather, the promise of summer. The promise of summer, seems like a beautiful thing to happen, at least to the one’s in the western world, to me it is like the advent of a horror film. Anybody who lives in the tropical/ subtropical zones like we do, where temperatures go up to  47° C , almost 117°F would empathise. It is a season which kind of saps my energy, creative or otherwise. In spring, I feel like this young sprig, a new born yellow-fluffy chick…I feel magic running through my veins…actually starting October till this temperature…

So lets get back this blog on track. I decided it is time for me to venture out of my …what do you call those tunnels that moles dig…anyway let’s just call it a mole-dig.  So it was good when one of my closest friends called me for dinner, the other couple n I were also very comfortable with each other. Just as I almost walked out in my near-pyjamas, she told me these other friends of theirs were also coming. I knew them, had met them in larger groups, they were really nice from what I remembered; it just had been the longest. I have turned into quite the recluse, if you check my posts. So I almost thought of making an excuse…but kohl n red lipstick, leading the way…I decided to finally finally venture out. I reached first and said my hellos…as I was discussing a ‘strange’ scene with the author whose scene I was discussing, after a couple of weird glances and they left me alone while I tied up the gory details. Only after I explained the context, did they relax.

So B and her husband came next. B was warm utterly and gracious, put me completely at ease..I really do envy this quality about people like her. They are so genuinely wonderful and warm, they can make an iceberg melt, and I am not even a snowflake yet. So B my friend M n I chatted, cribbed, talked nonsense…just simple connected. It was wonderful to discover that B’s grandfather and mine would have known each other; no way they could not have. We shared notes on blocked ears, glasses n ugly furniture. It was one cosy group, and delicious food. For me the highpoint interestingly turned out to be B, we exchanged numbers and should be meeting again soon.

What it did for me, was that it made two things clear…what kind of people was I most comfortable with and that once you do venture out as who you are, the world out there is beautiful. Let me explain, I have had distinct 2-3 circles, one is the arty types who speak largely in the hyperbole; they are adorable, utterly nice. I fit in, love those highs that can only come from intellectual exchanges but most of them from a very different background…socially, ethnically, morally. Let me explain yet again; most of them have come to Delhi from smaller cities, so they connect better with people who have come from smaller cities and made their place in this large cosmopolitan. They are more independent, a lil more street smart and are a part of  an enviable sub-culture, even their art  has a reflection of  displacement, which makes it edgier; enviably so.

Then there used to be this group I was a part of thanks to one of my exes; all ALL …they would talk about is foreign trips, shopping, brands. They left me bored, completely out of my depth; luckily there was this one girl who was a simple professional, more focused on her mind than her manicured nails or for that matter mine. The strangest thing was these were wonderful people one to one, but in a group the whole competitive spirit…my hairdresser is more expensive than yours… came out. This culture is prevalent closer home than I care to admit, I see this culture in the fringes of the circles I move in but I stay firmly, in the fringes.

I have realized that I am happiest with no-airs people, who are intelligent but mostly warm and accepting and if they have a common thread with you, even better. I have also realized that for people to be nice to you, you have to be unabashedly you, unapologetically so…I have always been me but I think earlier on, I was almost apologetic about my not being thin enough, or my lack of tact, or my non-western style of dressing.You name it, and I had a reason to look sorry about it. I can’t say that has happened overnight…the change I mean or even in the preceding 38 days but Yes! the blog has been one of the most liberating experiences of my life…and if this rebranding challenge has given me anything it is the fact that I am (even more) comfortable in my skin.

P.S….just on a vain note, two days of uninterrupted sleep and oodles of water; it is glowing 😉


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