A 100 days to a new me : Day 13, blame it on mom!

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image link :http://www.examiner.com/article/is-dennis-the-menace-s-mom-taking-steroids

I am not taking blame for what happened, not this time… My day was lousy and  I can’t think of anyone else to blame. Well it’s all mom’s fault.. Why? Well it is…

She did not wake me up in the morning. No I did not ask her to, but she should not have assumed I needed to sleep in! Once I had woken up and was lazing still, should she not have asked me, what I was doing and why was I not being more productive?

I could not go for my walk! It was raining… and mom has the sofa guys making sofas in the exercise room! Fine, no one ever uses it! I understand the sofa is for my room but why can’t mom understand, these rooms are for rainy days!!

What’s worse! Mom and my sister-in-law went out the mall, and got yumlicious DONUTS..Well why mom? I asked, with my mouth more full than an over-stuffed cushion, “WHY did you get these?”

Seems it was my partner in crime, my elder niece’s cue to ask the same question from her mother as she licked the gooey chocolate off her fingers,  “Why did you get  THESE?” and the sugar sprinkled bundle of spice the younger one, “Mom, why did you get (ONLY) these (MUCH) ?

I think moms are like a well made sponge cake. Light and refreshing by themselves, they soak in any flavor you put in them, good or bad, and make it taste good. I don’t think I have ever felt like spitting out a sponge-based pastry made by even the most inept of bakers, it’s all the magic of the sponge. It has a wondrous virtue of toning down whatever the negative elements of the icing, or the soak and tends to play up the finer elements. It is the base of almost every traditional birthday and wedding cake and ever notice, how even the most sloppily dressed sponges are still endearing.

If ever the cake does not turn out right, it is almost always the base to blame, not the sticky icing that makes your teeth look like an ick spewing monster’s, not the teeth-breaking icing sugar roses… It’s always the sponge base! Analogously, if a child is ill mannered, bad at studies or plain lazy; it’s not the negligent teacher, never the tobacco spewing father…  it’s always the base, oops! I mean the mom.

So when you don’t know what is wrong with the world, just blame it on mom:

  • If only mom had made sure I eat breakfast, my day at office would have been better!
  • Why is mom always asking me about work?
  • The least mom could have done was ask how my day in office was?
  • Mom is always asking me, what should I cook?
  • Why does mom always cook the same boring stuff all the time?

Just send in the key words, and I shall tell you how your mom is solely responsible…  and don’t hold back… the topic could be anything from your bad hairstyle  to World War II ( She wasn’t born then? …don’t worry there is always a connection.)

I remember the day, when my younger niece was all of two and a half, she wiped her dirty greased stained hands on her mother’s trousers. On being reprimanded she says to her mom, “Why did you not say anything yesterday?”Well she is right! Shouldn’t her mom have noticed the first time she did it, why now?, when she had kind of gotten used to it!

Here is a story from this collection of ultra short stories, that I am working on (stories in a 100 words or less) that so fits this topic!

                                          Mother of a Break!

Anne was tired. Six years of being a mother of two, had exhausted her. She was a good mother but no-one seemed to remember she was more. She envied her sister, who had their mother, to help out with her three.

As the baby-sitter entertained the kids, Anne felt just a tinge of guilt. She shrugged is resolutely, she was a woman too with needs and wants. Determined, she stepped out with her bags…leaving her husband a note.

  “Dear, take care of the kids. I am heading out to stay with mom for the weekend.”  

***

Am reminded of this IIT, IIM guy, who someone was trying to fix me up with … (that would be an MIT,HBS equivalent for the non-Indian reader), who it turned had the mother complex on me. He blamed me if I did not call or if I did. He blamed me if my phone connection was not okay or if it was too clear and hurt his ears, he blamed me for whatsapping when I could have called or calling when I could have whatsapped… well lucky for me, I wasn’t his mother and I decided it was a no-go after exactly four conversations. His mother, or for that matter mine…  is not so privileged.

Rebranding me today’s resolution : Tomorrow morning I wake up and give mom the biggest hug ever, for taking all the blame,all the time!Why does she do it? Why ask me? Ask her, after-all, she is to blame!;)

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