The first day is upon me. Yes! I feel weighed down. It is 9.30 am; I wake up with a feeling of anticipation a wee bit of dread. This is day 1! I can’t fail.
One of the rules has already been flouted, I have a date! In all honesty, I did try to postpone/ sabotage it. But I cannot exit it for a few reasons:
He isn’t exactly local, so by the time my doctor agrees to me dating, there would be a couple of oceans between us. Why it does matter is, because from what little I have spoken with him, there is a sense of camaraderie …something feels right! So the doctor and I re-negotiated and I am allowed to go on the condition that I watch it. No expectation, draw limits. Love you doc for looking out for me but I shall be as stoic as stoic gets.
I broadly divide my day into slots.
The first half:
After a long leisurely bath, which includes ridding my hair of nearly half a bottle of coconut oil that I had applied the previous night, I add my date plans to the already (what now seems) long list. My skin is looking bad, I have nothing to wear. I am out of my favorite perfume …and what does one wear to a first date anyway?
Take a deep breath, focus on the goals:
Breakfast is half a Spanish omelet with loads of vegetables, no cheese, and some fruit. Seems healthy, is delicious and not faddy and seems like an okay thing to do.
I did not finish all prayers but did manage the first three, felt like magic.
Get started on the editing and manage a bit, I seem to be struggling with it. Guess am feeling the pressure, drafting my pre-first day post was taxing; I never knew it would take up so much time. It is a time guzzler and I am only posting yet.
Lunch was a couple of bowls of veggies, about two table-spoons of rice and lentils and I have been drinking water.
My date was supposed to confirm 3ish, I message him around 2.15 and in a way hope, he would cancel. I am nervous. Have been out of the circuit for a while, I mean the last time I went on a date with someone who wasn’t yet a friend, must have been in the dark ages. Damn! I am jittery; adults do not behave this way. I begin to understand why the doctor has said no dating, even if you don’t care, a bad date has the potential to damage.
This was the time to get my next couple of goals accomplished, sunshine was the easiest! I walked to the park behind my house, it was comforting, kids playing, some studying while moms took in the sun.The sunshine felt good as I sat with a pen and paper.The words seemed to have vaporised …I wanted them just right, naturally falling in perfect prose …but my expectations were stopping me from being even a scribbler.The sheet remained empty, devoid of even a doodle.
I decide to at least get the walk out of the way. About 30 minutes later, the phone rang …we were on in three hours! THREE HOURS?? I had no time. As I finished the remaining 15 minutes of the walk as I planned the optimal usage of what little time I had.
I needed professional help! I rushed to the salon, where they told me how utterly bad I looked (thanks for the confidence vote guys!). They recommended facials, hair spas and if they had a replacement facility for body parts, am sure they would have proposed the same. I mumbled my apologies and told them, I had no time.
I seem to have touched upon most rules, I quickly sit on the net and once again struggle with the blog. If the pre days are so challenging, the actual soul baring shall be intimidating!
Rush rush…half my wardrobe is on the bed. With hope and a body that seems to skipping 2 sizes a week, in the wrong direction…I have loads to wear but nothing that fits. I live at a stone’s throw from the best malls …should I just go shop? Hold it girl!
The colour black comes to rescue. I look decent enough for my mom not to make an unflattering comment and my ten year old niece to roll her eyes in approval. Just as I am going out, Mom says, “Are those shoes comfortable?” Thanks mom, suddenly they don’t feel so!!
I have to take the metro, to his part of the city and we go wherever from there, he promised he would drop me back. I feed cab numbers into my Samsung (what if I hate him?), and need to come back early? What if he hates me…?
My date is smiling, he seems nice, seems we shall survive it. Three restaurants later, we are in a happy little spot with a romantic, Mediterranean ambience and quaint little flower stands. The conversation is great, the no liquor license is fine by me, the food is just the right quantity and delicious.We decide to finish early and follow it up with drinks. The place is beautiful; it has the right music, solitude, ambience and a drink which had my year’s quota of alcohol (I did not finish it). There is undeniable magic …the silence is comfortable. So silence speaks and so do we, a little…
The date ends on a promise but there are no promises…just a million questions. But isn’t that what the mornings after are for …going over what happened? The goodbye is sweet as he drops me home …I change and snuggle into my quilt, a wonderful message from him brings a smile to my face, just as I remember to take my medicines.
Lights off …and eyes shut, let’s see what tomorrow brings. ..